Nightmare
by PureAsDrivenSnow
Summary: One-Shot: Remus Lupin can't sleep without help from cherished draughts. When he finds he has run out he is subjected to the nightmares that plague him.


**NIGHTMARE**

 **AN: Hey guys. I had to write this down. I literally had a dream very close to this the other night and needed to get it out of my head. It's weird because I have never written for this pair and while it's horrible, I did enjoy it. I hope you do as well.**

 **-Snow**

Remus Lupin had always struggled to fall asleep. He'd toss and turn, body aching, joints on fire. The pain he felt from years of agonizing transformations left him restless and often pessimistic. Along with various pain managing draughts he'd grown used to the sweet relief that Dreamless Sleep provided. The previous day he'd made a mental note to pick more up from an apothecary but with the stress of a peaking war it had undoubtedly slipped his mind.

He stared at the open cabinet in Andromeda's wash room, finding an old vial sitting on the shelf. Rolling the empty bottle over in his palm he let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his graying hair. Gentle arms snaked their way around his waist, a soft cheek resting in the crook of his neck, "Teddy's asleep...Finally," Tonks relayed. Remus's eyes shifted toward her, barely hearing the words as his mind struggled with the realization that he wouldn't be getting any sleep of his own that night. Between the war, the temporary living situation he and his wife found themselves in and the baby, he had barely time for rest as it were. Needles to say, he was wearing thin and one too many times, he knew, he had taken it out on Nymphadora. She was a stubborn woman however, and never failed to mention when his mood began to sour. He needed that and he was happy his heart had found such a strong woman; he was happy he had finally allowed himself the indescribable feeling that being loved brought.

"Remus?" she asked, pulling the aging werewolf out from beneath the fog of his pestering thoughts, "Are you okay?" He nodded quickly, closing the cabinet and in turn, brushing her off his shoulder. Turning to her with exhausted eyes, he let out a breath that no amount of sighing could shake, "Oh, yes, only tired."

"We're out of Dreamless Sleep, aren't we?" She inquired, noticing the empty bottle in his hand. Remus nodded shuffling passed her as he headed toward their bedroom. Tonks followed close behind, turning out the lanterns in the room. Plummeted into darkness, she slipped into bed, feeling for her husband. She had grown used to Remus's uncertainty, his persistent need to shut her out. She didn't take it personal and instead, slid closer, snuggling up in an attempt to reassure him. She felt his chest heave from another trapped sigh, his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder as her head rested where it usually did in the crook of his neck.

"I have nightmares without it," he admitted into the dark. Tonks said nothing but continued to listen, "Terrible nightmares. I'm angry that I had forgotten to pick more up."

"Maybe tonight will be different?" she suggested, knowing it wasn't true. Remus chuckled darkly, "No. It won't be. It's a nice thought though." Tonks removed herself from her spot and even though her eyes hadn't adjusted to the dark, she looked at her husband, "Want me to stay awake with you?"

"Oh, no. That wont be necessary," he whispered, "Besides, Teddy will wake soon enough I'm sure." She nodded and laid back down.

A few long moments passed, the small home still with sleep. Chancing that Tonks was still awake, Remus spoke again, allowing himself to vocalized his fears once more, "I'm afraid of what I've done to Teddy...Sometimes I worry if we did the right thing by having a child..." he held his breath, worried about what Tonks might say to that. He'd admitted his fear before but not in the same words. After a few silent moments, Remus turned his head and heard the peaceful breathing of his wife. He realized then how grateful he was that she could fall asleep anywhere and nearly instantly. She didn't need to know how he truly felt about becoming a parent. Closing his eyes, he willed himself to sleep until finally, to his surprise, sleep did come.

 _Standing in the living room of a home he didn't recognize but knew was his own, he watched the chaos play out in the kitchen, a fight between Tonks and...himself? Turning he saw his reflection in a mirror hanging on the adjacent wall. Turquoise hair. His fingers twirled around one of the locks, eyes widening. Whirling back to the scene in the kitchen he knew then that he wasn't Remus anymore, but his son, Teddy but many years older. His mum and dad were yelling, Remus pulling at his hair, his breath hitching uncontrollably. Fear struck him, the words his father was saying, crying...As if he weren't even there._

" _I'm a monster! I've done this! I shouldn't have allowed it to happen!" he yelled, face flush and sweaty, "We never should have had a child!"_

" _Remus, enough! He'll hear you!" Tonks yelled, hoping her husband would soon come to his senses. Teddy stepped back, pressing up against the wall. His dad stopped screaming, neck twitching. His eyes caught that of his mum's, her hands flying up to cover her mouth in terror. A single beam of moonlight found its way through the clouds, washing over the nearly irate werewolf through the curtain drawn window. A solid, guttural moan escaped him and Tonks fled from the kitchen and toward her son._

" _Come," she said, skin reflecting a thin sheen of sweat. Grabbing her teenage son, she all but dragged him from the living room and out the front door. The chill of winter went unnoticed as they ran to the backside of the home, to the garden. Crashing could be heard from the inside, another inhuman cry emanating from the inside of the house. Tonks ducked within the hedges, forcing her young son down with her, "I need you to stay here, Ted. I need you to hide until I come back for you," Tonks demanded, placing a loving kiss atop his head._

" _Wait!" he cried as she bolted from their hiding spot and back toward the front of the house. Teddy's heart beat fast, his stomach somersaulting again and again. Closing his eyes he focused on his breathing until a loud crash smashed the silence between the cries of his father. Not a second later another crash came, this one a lot closer. The french doors leading out into the garden had been shattered, a body splaying out on the deck. Every instinct told Teddy to run to his mother's aid but he knew, even from there that she was dead. The sour scent of blood filled his nose, crumbled shards of glass gleaming off the moonlight. He sunk further into the hedge, so frightened he could hear his blood rush past his ears, seemingly trying to run away. Shaking, he could feel now the biting cold, his breath coming out in hot plumes before his mouth._

 _The crashing ceased, in fact, all was still. Teddy's eyes frantically searched through the leaves, trying to find any hint of movement. To him, it seemed he was finally alone, that his father had run away in an attempt to spill more blood. He adjusted himself, knees screaming from having been crouched for so long. Then, a faint rustling could be heard. Head snapping to the sound, a crunch of a branch came only too close to where he was hiding. Then, he heard it, a low, angry grumble and before he could even think to move, his father burst from the hedges beside him, standing to his full height in beast form. Mouth dry, eyes wide, he watched as Remus bared his bloody teeth, long arms reeling back. This was it, it was over. Closing his eyes, he waited until-_

Remus bolted upright, sweat soaking through his nightshirt, heart beating wildly. Tonks awoke, the sleep in her eyes gone in seconds at the sight of her husband.

"Remus?" she inquired, placing a loving hand on his back. He shook his head, "It's nothing. Just a nightmare," he told her, wiping the sweat from his brow, "I'll be okay. Go on back to sleep."

He removed himself from the warmth of his bed, the images of the dream lingering at the forefront of his mind. An icy shiver ran through him as he walked the length of the hallway, toward the office that his newborn son lie sleeping. He peered down at him, so small and peaceful. His tiny chest moving in rhythm with his gentle breathing. He didn't know what to think. At the sight of his son, he felt pride but at the thought of himself and what he had done to this poor child, he felt horror.


End file.
